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“This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it. You said, `No, we will flee on horses. ‘ Therefore you will flee!” Isaiah 30:15

Have you ever felt unseen?  Where it felt like no one knew you, or noticed you, or you didn’t belong? I sure have!

After I married my husband and moved to Pennsylvania to become a wife and mom, everything changed for me. I waited for what seemed like forever to finally marry the man God had for me. I lived in a beautiful home and was immediately blessed with 3 children after praying for so long to be a mom.  It was a dream come true. So why was I so sad? I gained so much!

Well, in good ole’ human fashion, I just couldn’t stop focusing on what I felt like I lost.

When I lived in Baltimore, I had an unbreakable family bond with my parents and siblings. I had friends that I had been friends with since Kindergarten. I also had community that surrounded me from church and I worked a sales job with lots of “good jobs” and “atta girls!” I met so many people in my 32 years in my hometown.  I couldn’t even go to a gas station without seeing someone I knew! And now here I was, in a state where no one knew my name and not one friend. The “me” I once was, felt long gone and I felt like a nobody. But then I got pregnant. And I was so excited and thought that the hole that had been missing would be filled.  But little did I know, motherhood would make it even harder. After a while, I didn’t even know where I began and where my child ended.

Moms, I know how easy it is to lose yourself and want so badly to find you again.  I know what it feels like to feel unseen. But I went about it all the wrong way. And my hope is to spare you from that or to at least help you see that there is another way. You see, I tried so hard, for so long in my own power to be someone again. In the midst of dirty diapers and sleepless nights, I did MLM’s to try to find success. I spent countless hours on social media to see and be seen. And I tried working so hard on my blog to make it something that God never intended it to be just to find me again. And every time I went down those roads, I’d only find myself tired, empty and feeling guilty.

Don’t get me wrong, doing MLM’s aren’t bad. Having a blog, is not bad.  But doing things in our own strength and forcing our own way, that’s when things go sour and we are left gasping for air.  The verse above has been heavy on my heart lately. “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.” In this verse, the Lord is talking to His people and He is reminding them that if they had just rested in His ways and did things His way, they would have had strength and salvation and yet they said “No, we will flee on our horses.” The people trusted in themselves to make things right. And I too have done that, too many times to count.

How about you? Are you trusting in yourself to carry everything? Are you trusting in your own strength to “do it all”? Sometimes I think we go to social media and in two minutes we see one girl working out, one girl in her Bible, one girl writing a book, one girl with a perfect home, one girl perfectly dressed and so on and we mush them all into one person. We sign off thinking that every woman does every single thing and we are left feeling so behind in life! Yes, I believe we can do all those things, but we can’t do them all in one day! And yet we just keep trying. 

In a motherhood study I did last year called The Six Truths of Motherhood by Karen Stubbs, she said “We all want the end product of a great healthy family, but…we can’t export a healthy family if we don’t have a healthy us. And two things are required to export a healthy us: rest and repentance.” She went on to say “Moms, you don’t have a choice, your body needs rest. You can either give it the rest it needs or it will begin to shut down on you through anxiety, depression, aches and pains or complete exhaustion.” She reminded us in the study that God himself prioritized rest, and it is neither selfish or lazy. It’s a must.

Are you in a season of feeling unseen and trying to work your way to being noticed? If that’s you, please learn from me. Our Savior is a God who sees us.  And whenever you feel unseen, He is the only one that is sufficient enough to fill us back up again. No amount of likes or comments or follows or success will ever do. We can curl up and sit with Him and He will remind us again and again that He’s always been with us and always will be. We just have to be willing to give him that time.

Are you also in a season where you are tired and you are trying to do it all? If that’s you, I want to encourage you today, that when we repent and confess to God that we’ve been trying to do it all and essentially “be God” and then fully trust that He will show us the next step, He will! When we do this and then see Him show up for us, it not only puts our heart at rest but it grows our faith in Him.  How can our faith grow if we don’t ever leave room for Him to show up for us?

This is something I’m still working at. This laying down of myself and trusting that He will show me the way is a daily challenge.  Everyday I have to remind myself that He can be trusted and He knows what’s best for me. I can let go and instead simply ask Him where to go next.

It’s in our rest and repentance that we are delivered from our struggle. In our quietness and trust we are led to God’s best for us. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to go ahead of God anymore and I don’t want to drag behind Him either. I want to be in step with Him, abiding in Him.  Too many times I think we either go full throttle past Jesus or just plain stop in tiredness and fear, doing nothing at all. And I don’t want us to do that anymore! Together, let’s take on our days in a new way.

“Lord, my day is Yours. How do you want me to live it? Open my eyes to see the people you put in front of me and the ways you want me to serve. Open my eyes to see opportunities to use the gifts you’ve given me to show others who You are.  Don’t let me be lazy but at the same time, don’t let me move forward with my own selfish ambition to be seen.  Let me just rest in trusting You, knowing you will show me the next right step.  Remind me that I can rest in that! Let me always remember that when I go ahead of you I am vulnerable to harm. And instead lead me into repentance, rest, quietness and trust in You so that I can be strong and safe like Your Word says I will be.”

And I’ll end on this note, with the words of Karen Stubbs from The Six Truths of Motherhood study:

“Take control of getting the rest you need.  And know that you deserve and require rest. I promise you, if you do these two things, you WILL find “you” again. God created you, you are HIS idea, and HE knows how to save your from everything including yourself. And He has plans for you.”

Challenge: write down 3 ways you are going to prioritize yourself this week and share at least one idea below!

1. Eat and sleep well all week.
2. Work out even it’s just 20 minutes at least 3 days this week.
3. Take a bath with a candle while listening to a podcast at least 3 times this week.