A complete lost soul. Have you ever felt that way? I’m sure if you are anything like me you do things to tell yourself you aren’t, like busy your life with work, friends, the bar and a man (or maybe a few). But really, when you’re sitting alone in stillness, do you feel unsure of your future? I can relate…
A couple years ago I measured my worth by who I called “my boyfriend” and also how I compared to the latest “sexy celeb icon.” My boyfriend and the media basically held all the power in what defined me. If my beau and I broke up, all I had left was how I measured up to Kim Kardashian! I was so lost. Looking back now, it’s no wonder! I was letting a lost world and a 20-30 something year old boy, who didn’t even know who he was, make the decision on how I saw myself, how I acted and who I should be!
After years and years of this, I broke. Like a no joke, fall to my knees, ugly cry, pleading with God kind of break! And when I cracked, and became completely honest with myself about it, I finally let the light in!
Just like everything else, hindsight is 20/20! But at least I’m here to tell you the 4 Secrets I’ve learned about Finding YOURSELF!:
- ONE person doesn’t define you- Heck not even 10,000 people define you! It took me so long to figure this out. After my first boyfriend (who I thought I’d marry) left me out to dry when he went away to college, I thought I was no longer worthy of love. I thought “if he doesn’t love me, then I guess I’m not as great as he said I was these last 4 years.” I gave him all the power! A 17 year old!!! This was the start of all my bad decisions! Galations 1:10 says “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? Am I trying to please mere man?” Had I known who I really was back then, I would have known that it wasn’t that my boyfriend didn’t choose me, he was young and choosing what his world at the time said he should. I would have seen it as his loss. I still have to check myself at 34 years old. I often have to when I post on social media. Is a like or comment from a person I hardly know really THAT meaningful?
2. Your Mistakes Don’t Define You! Remember all those “bad decisions” I mentioned in number one? Yea well, I let every one of those decisions be the the definition of who I was. I’d do (or date) something really foolish and feel awful about my choices. But then I’d settle with “I guess it’s just who I am” which led me to make even worse decisions. I felt bad about myself so I kept choosing what was bad. And I did this for years! Even after I started pursuing my spiritual walk I did something so dumb, got “stuck” in that awful place and made myself believe that it was just who I was. But I’m here to tell you that you are NOT your sin or your failure or you past. You are new every.single.day. And so are God’s mercies. Lamentations 3:23 “His mercies are new every morning!”
3. Trade Comfort for Greatness!- Don’t stay in the cycle no matter how difficult change my seem. It may be uncomfortable. It may be scary. But oh my, it will be so worth it! All those days I stayed in the same situation because I was scared to be different and do different! I didn’t want to lose the life that I had that felt comfortable. But when I took that big scary leap of faith and was uncomfortable for a little while, my goodness did it pay off! I would have never guessed I’d be married with three kids to an amazing man of God just two short years ago. But with a little step of faith, even as small as a mustard seed, God can do BIG THINGS.
4.YOU are LOVED- The creator of all good things, the King of the world, the one that holds the future loves you WILDLY and pursues you daily!! You are worth running after! You are reading this right now because this is him running after you! You don’t think he led you here by accident do you? Once I realized how incredibly loved I was, I realized I was worthy of love! And so are you!
At the end of the day, I found myself when I found myself in God. So I ask you today, who (or what) are you going to find yourself in? Who is going to define the sweet definition of YOU!